Starting Therapy: It’s Okay to Be Nervous, and It’s Okay to Shop Around!
First things first, if you’re feeling anxious about your first session—or therapy in general—congratulations, you’re human! Nerves are part of the package. Maybe you're worried you'll say too much. Maybe you're afraid you'll say too little. Perhaps you’re even wondering if your therapist is secretly judging your existence… but they’re not. Promise.
Think of therapists as emotional lifeguards. Our job is to stay calm while you splash around, freak out, cannonball into your feelings, or just float quietly for a bit. There’s no right or wrong way to "do" therapy. Therapy is a journey, not a race. You don’t have to have it all figured out on day one.
The First Appointment Jitters Are Totally Normal
Take a deep breath. If you’re feeling anxious about your first therapy session (or any session, honestly), that’s okay. It’s completely normal to feel anxious or skeptical. Those “what if” spirals running through your head? Totally normal.
You might wonder:
What if I don’t know what to say?
What if I cry in the first five minutes?
What if I joke about my problems… will I seem self-aware or just deeply unwell?
What if I just sit there like a potato?
News flash: Therapists expect all of that. A skilled therapist will meet you where you are. You can come in with a bullet point list or just show up and say, “Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing here.” Either way, it’s valid. You’re valid.
It’s the therapist’s job to help you safely explore the chaos, the confusion, and the big emotions—all without judgment. Nervousness shows you’re taking it seriously, and that’s a beautiful thing. You do not have to "perform" in therapy.
A lot of people worry they have to present some polished version of themselves, like they’re auditioning for the role of "Most Put-Together Client." The truth is, you don’t have to be anyone but yourself! Therapy isn’t about delivering a perfect monologue. It’s about being real. Whether that includes nervous laughter, crying halfway through, or just sitting quietly trying to find the words.
There’s no right way to do therapy. The only wrong way is believing you need to be anyone other than your authentic self. And honestly, if you sit there like a potato? That’s fine too. Potatoes are great. Potatoes are versatile. So are you.
A skilled therapist will be able to detect your energy and know how to navigate the session based on what you’re sharing (and what you’re not). It shouldn’t feel like you’re doing all the heavy lifting in the conversation.
Not Every Therapist is "The One"
Here’s another truth no one talks about enough: Not every therapist will be the right fit for you. Finding the right therapist can feel a lot like dating, but for your mind. You’re putting yourself out there, hoping to find someone who understands you, listens to you, and helps you grow. But just like dating, chemistry matters. It can feel a little nerve-wracking at first.
You might meet a therapist who checks all the right boxes on paper but just doesn’t click with you. Maybe their energy feels off, or their communication style doesn’t match yours. That’s okay.
Therapists have different personalities, clinical backgrounds, styles, and specializations:
Some are more structured and goal oriented.
Others take a more laid back, conversational approach.
Some specialize in specific issues like trauma, anxiety, or relationships.
Others take a more general approach to mental health.
At the end of the day, therapy works best when you feel safe. It’s about connection, trust, and feeling like you can breathe a little easier with this person, even if it takes a few sessions.
If you meet a therapist who doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. It just means that therapist isn’t for you. And honestly, recognizing that is a massive win. It’s advocating for yourself.
It’s okay to say, “Hey, I think I need something different.” Good therapists won’t be offended. They want you to find the right fit because that’s when real healing happens.
How to Know You’ve Found the Right Therapist
Here’s the thing—therapy is about more than just clinical expertise. The vibe matters. More than any textbook definition of therapy style. You should feel comfortable being yourself, whether that means venting about your struggles, sitting in silence for a moment, or cracking a joke in the middle of a deep conversation.
If you don’t feel at ease with your therapist, it’s going to be hard to make real progress. So, how do you know when you’ve found the right therapist?
You feel safe and comfortable opening up (even about the hard stuff).
You leave sessions feeling heard, validated, and understood.
You trust that your therapist genuinely cares about your well-being.
You feel challenged in a way that helps you grow—not in a way that makes you shut down.
You don’t dread sessions. Even when the work is tough, you know it’s worth it.
You have those aha moments—the breakthroughs that make you see things differently.
Once you find the right therapist, therapy stops feeling like something you have to do and starts feeling like something you want to do. You feel lighter, more hopeful, and maybe even excited for the progress you’re making. The right therapist doesn’t just listen, they help you transform.
A Little About Me as a Therapist
Now, I know what you might be wondering: "What kind of therapist are you?" Well, I like to think of myself as someone who keeps it real. I bring humor into sessions because, let’s be honest, sometimes life is just absurd, and laughter is healing. But I also know when to be serious. Therapy is about balance. Some moments call for humor to lighten the weight, while others require deep reflection and a safe space for raw emotions. I believe in creating that balance, ensuring that sessions feel both meaningful and approachable.
I’ll help you process through any and all experiences, and help you understand why we react the way we do, how our brains process emotions, and how different coping strategies work. I’m a person centered therapist, meaning every session is tailored to YOU. No one-size-fits-all solutions here. I use different approaches depending on what works best for the person in front of me because everyone’s story deserves to be honored in a way that feels right for them.
I’m human. I have real emotions, feelings, and experiences—just like you. I’m transparent, and I will always be real with my clients. I fumble my words, I make mistakes, and at the end of the day, I’m just another regular human doing my best. Therapy isn’t about perfection, it’s about authenticity, and that’s exactly what I will always bring into the room.
Keep Going, It’s Worth It!
If you’ve had a bad therapy experience before, I understand it can be discouraging. But just because one therapist wasn’t the right match doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. The right therapist is out there, and when you find them, it can be life changing.
If your first session is tomorrow, next week, or ten minutes from now…take a deep breath! You are doing something brave. You are investing in your mental health. You are showing up for yourself in a way that so many people are too afraid to do.
You’ve already done the hardest part: deciding to show up. The rest? We’ll figure it out together. One beautifully messy, courageous, potato-like step at a time.
You’ve got this. And if you need help finding your therapy "person," don’t give up. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, explore options, and take your time. They’re out there, and they’re rooting for you, just like I am.
